Holidays & GriefOctober 8, 20266 min readBy The Last Branch Foundation

Getting Through the Holidays After Losing a Parent

The holidays are supposed to be about family. That is exactly what makes them so painful after you lose a parent, or several family members. The first Thanksgiving without Dad's carving or Mom's sweet potato pie can feel unbearable, and even years later the season can open old wounds.

If you are dreading the holidays this year, you are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong. Here are some gentle ways to get through.

Plan ahead, even loosely

Uncertainty makes grief heavier. A few weeks before the holiday, ask yourself:

Do I want to be with people, or have a quiet day?
Which traditions do I want to keep, change or skip this year?
Who can I call if the day gets hard?

Write your plan down and tell one trusted person. Having a plan B, like leaving a gathering early, gives you permission to take care of yourself.

It's okay to change traditions

You don't have to recreate the holidays exactly as they were. Some people find comfort in keeping every tradition; others need something completely different. Both are okay. You might:

Have dinner at a restaurant instead of at home
Volunteer at a community meal or food giveaway
Take a short trip or spend the day outdoors
Start one new tradition in honor of your loved one

Honor the people you miss

Making space for your loved ones can turn painful moments into meaningful ones:

Light a candle at the table in their memory.
Cook their signature dish and share the story behind it.
Write them a letter and read it aloud or keep it private.
Donate to a cause they cared about, or give a meal to a family in need.

Give a little, if you can

Many people find that helping others eases holiday grief. This year, The Last Branch Foundation is hosting Wrapped in Love: Thanksgiving of Hope, a turkey and essentials giveaway for families in the High Desert. Volunteering or sponsoring a family can be a beautiful way to honor someone you have lost.

Protect your energy

Holiday events, shopping and social media can all bring up grief. It's okay to say no, mute accounts, leave early or skip the parties entirely. Rest, eat regular meals and get outside when you can. Grief is exhausting, and the holidays add more.

There is no right way to spend the holidays after a loss. There is only your way, this year.

If the season feels too heavy

For some people, the holidays bring up feelings of deep hopelessness. If that's you, please reach out. Call or text 988 any time, talk to your doctor, or contact us for local support resources.

You don't have to spend it alone

If you'll be on your own this holiday season, let us know. Our community gatherings and online support are here so that no one has to face an empty table by themselves.

The Last Branch Foundation

A 501(c)(3) nonprofit offering peer grief support, connection and community to people who have lost their immediate family. No one grieves alone.

Keep Reading

How to Cope When You've Lost Your Entire Immediate Family

16Oct

Coping With Grief7 min read

How to Cope When You've Lost Your Entire Immediate Family

When your parents, siblings or whole family are gone, grief can feel impossibly lonely. Here is how to take the next small step, and the one after that.